GOING TO LOSE HIS JOB
I feel… drained. I open the blinds and close the door, look out the window at a branch waving
like one long line of people
brushes it as they walk south.
I’d forgotten there’s a certain rhythm
between the wind
and the branches.
3 responses so far ↓
1 Liz // Mar 17, 2009 at 12:49 am
I close the door and open the blinds, look out the window at a
branch waving
like one long line of people
shaking as they walk south.
I’d forgotten there’s a rhythm
between the wind
and the branches.
maybe put a little more over rhytum in the closing couplet. I like the long first line alot the formatting doesn’t look like it will remain in my reworked vision.
PS. HI Guys! Its so nice to be in poetry cahoots with you all again. I think i could scare up ed thandhauser should we all be interested. Also my friend Chris Edley is a prety amazing poet…. if he is still writing. Hi HI HiHiHIhIhiiiiHIII ! HI!
2 mackenzie // Mar 24, 2009 at 8:25 am
Hey liz, thanks for the comments!ye get ed to join us and invite yur other friend aswell. the more the merrier as far as I’m concerned… well at least at first. hows the weather in hanoi?
3 mackenzie // Apr 13, 2009 at 4:16 pm
GOES TO THE WINDOW AFTER LOSING HIS JOB
I close the door and open the blinds, look out the window at a branch waving
like one long line of people
brush against it as they walk south.
I’d forgotten there’s a rhythm
between the wind
and the branches.
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