when you’re out, sell your lucky one
so no one can leave
don’t you like what you’re fleeing
enough to keep it?
only hope till your coffin’s warm
don’t hardly speak
time a little time
and you clutch to the heat
**half credit/ inspiration to J. Vernon**
2 responses so far ↓
1 nathan // Dec 22, 2009 at 11:13 am
spooky poem, it was confusing the first couple times i read it. has an old feel to it, a clever little darkness.
2 mackenzie // Dec 26, 2009 at 9:14 pm
this is a song, bitch. I vote for capitalization and more lines like the first two and last two.
and is the form significant or you just subconsciously like pairing 8 and 5 syllables in couplets? and ye, I can’t figure out how to spell syllable at the moment. oh shit that can’t be right.
speak/heat is a nice slant rhyme… for once I like the vagueness but I just want more complexity in the middle four lines, OK? OK. merry xmas bitch
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